Perfectionism Traits… both a barrier and a strength

Perfectionism can be described as a tendency to hold the expectations of oneself and other abilities about how something should be done, usually to exceptionally high standards.

Perfectionism can be a trait that is a barrier to people in their activities of daily living, their relationships, and learning, due to both the internal and external demands this ‘trait’ places upon a person.

These demands can increase feelings of anxiety which can have a cumulative effect on a person. As their day progresses, and their perception of what is expected of them increases, so too their anxiety. This can quickly reduce a person’s capacity of the course of the day.

Perfectionism barriers can present as:

• Reduced satisfaction with one’s perceived abilities in learning, games, play, and relationships, with internal scripting including “You could have done better”, “You might as well give up”, “You are not a very good friend”, “You are not a very good parent”.

• Unrealistic expectations of others, with internal scripting including, “Why didn’t you call me at that time”, “Why did you invite them over to your house when I am your best friend?”, “You should be available to listen to me when I need you”.

• Social challenges that can lead to loneliness and social isolation.

• Difficulty persisting in an activity that is ‘hard’. It can be challenging to sit with the feelings that you have let yourself or others down, because you find something hard to do.

These barriers can sometimes mean that people with perfectionism traits can have a reduced sense of self-esteem, often become tired quickly, difficulty prioritising tasks, and can become hyper focused on one activity until they feel as though they have completed it to a certain standard.

At Diversum, we can support people of all ages that may have challenges associated with their perfectionistic traits to develop the skills required in managing these, whilst also learning how to use their perfectionism traits to support them in meeting their goals.

Perfectionism is a trait that can support many people to achieve amazing things once they can be supported in learning how to manage their perfectionism, rather than it feeling as though it is controlling them.